Portsmouth, NH – Rachel Avery Connell, who was Rector of Chatham Hall girls’ preparatory school in Virginia, died after an aggressive form of cancer March 14, 2023. She was 54. A resident of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Ms. Connell held previous positions as Director of Advancement at Emma Willard School in New York, Senior Consultant and Principal at Marts & Lundy, and in development positions at Phillips Exeter Academy, New Hampshire, Landmark College and World Learning in Vermont. She was on the board of the Virginia Association of Independent Schools and a member of the International Coalition of Girls’ Schools. She had also been on the board of Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, Service Federal Credit Union, NH, and was a member of the Ranger Chapter New Hampshire D.A.R. Rachel was dedicated to the advancement of women’s and girl’s education and opportunities throughout her life.
Born on March 6, 1969, Rachel was a cum laude graduate of Wellesley College (1991) in Massachusetts, and National Cathedral School for Girls (1987) in Washington D.C. She held a Master’s in Business Administration from Babson College (1999). A Russian Studies major at Wellesley, she spent her senior year living in Moscow, studying at the Institute of History and Archives as part of a student exchange following the Reagan/Gorbachev Summit. While there, she traveled through the former Soviet Union, including providing relief in the Republic of Georgia following a devastating earthquake. As a student trustee of Wellesley, she developed and helped implement a divestment portfolio from the college’s South African holdings with minimal revenue loss to the school. She was a dedicated member of the “Wellesley Widows” a cappella group known for her rich mezzo and ability to jazz scat. She had a lifelong passion for literature, music, film, art and travel.
One of the highlights of her life was the successful adoption of her son, Alexander “Sasha” Avery McEldowney, from Moscow.
In addition to her beloved son, she leaves her mother, Marion Fitch Connell, her father and stepmother, Lawrence and Linda Connell, her sister, Elizabeth Connell Nielsen and her husband, Devan, her nephew and niece, Powell and Ava, her stepson, Captain Matthew McEldowney (USMC), her cousin Keper Connell and his wife, Andrée and their children, Esmé and Ronan, her step-sister, Gail McGovern Gulotta and her husband, Geno, their children, Ri and Keelan, and her former husband, Bruce McEldowney. She also leaves an array of beloved friends around the globe with whom she shared her unique spirit of generosity, joy, knowledge and fierce love.
The family wishes to particularly thank Dr. Harold Burstein and his team at Dana Farber Cancer Institute for their devoted care to our beloved Rachel. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations in Rachel’s memory be made to Planned Parenthood of Northern New England and Dana Farber Cancer Institute directed to Women’s Cancers.
Celebration of Life Announcement/Invitation
Please join our family at a Celebration of Life for our beloved Rachel Avery Connell on Sunday, May 14, 2023 from 3-5 pm at The Venue at Portwalk Place, 22 Portwalk Place, Portsmouth, NH.
In the spirit of Rachel, and her great love for the people she encountered throughout her life, we ask that you bring a copy of a photo with/of Rachel, if you have one, to share at the event and contribute your photo to a memory book for her son, Sasha.
Please RSVP to Elizabeth Connell Nielsen: elizabeth7ccn@gmail.com.
If you need accommodations for the night, a 15% discount is offered for those attending Rachel‘s Celebration of Life at the Hampton Inn Downtown Portsmouth, Residence Inn Portsmouth Downtown/Waterfront, and AC Hotels by Marriott Portsmouth. There are also numerous VRBO and Airbnb options throughout Portsmouth. Free parking is available perpendicular to Portwalk place, at the Russell Street entrance. Paid parking is available off Portwalk place at the Hanover Street entrance.
Bruce McEldowney says
The holes in our hearts are filled with all the loving memories of her friends and fans. There will never be another Rachel although this world could use her love and compassion.
Cindy Powell says
Dear Bruce, What a lovely sentiment. I knew Rachel at World Learning and was lucky enough to join in the celebration of your marriage in DC at the fabulous bash you all threw. I am sending so much sympathy and support your way, to you and your son, to Sasha, and to her entire family. I am committed to striving to be as kind, caring, present and compassionate as she. We’ve no time to waste and yes, the world needs more love and compassion à la Rachel. Big hugs to you, Bruce.
Bruce McEldowney says
Bless you, Cindy. I remember how much Rachel enjoyed having you in her life. I always picture the two of you laughing and falling “ass over teakettle”.
The other day I watched “The Cider House Rules” vowing to not cry. I didn’t even make it through the opening credits. The film is the culmination of Rachel’s ongoing fight to make this world better and more fair for women and the men who love them. Adoption, freedom of choice, responsibility, love, and sacrifice. Rachel leaves a remarkable legacy of her work and accomplishments which includes two young men that truly respect women.
Dawn & John Petersen says
The Petersen family is so sorry that the world has lost such a wonderful soul. Rachel saw so much good in the world. We spent many Family Camp years with her warm smiles around the campfire and on Sunset Beach. Our condolences to the family.
Bruce McEldowney says
Thank you, Dawn and John. Sasha and I may well spread some ashes in Purity Lake.
Nancy huff says
Larry and Marion
I am so sorry to hear of the lost of your daughter
I remember her having fun at the Beach Club growing up as all our children did
My heart goes out to you losing such a star
Love to you all who grieve
Nancy Huff
Marion Fitch Connell says
Thank you, Nancy.
Meredith Viano says
Dear Larry and Marion,
I had the privilege of babysitting for both Rachel and Elizabeth; we go back a long way. I will always remember Rachel for her beautiful laugh and smile, her kind soul and her quick wit. ( She reminded me of your mom Larry!). To loose a child is beyond words or comprehension. My most sincere condolences to
you, her family and everyone whose life was touched by Rachel.
With my deepest sympathy,
Mamie Viano
Marion Fitch Connell says
Thank you, Mamie.
Susan Poisson-Dollar says
I had the privilege of knowing Rachel at Emma Willard when I was involved in fundraising as a parent trustee. My every meeting with her was a joy–such a positive spirit and our conversations were always wide-ranging and interesting. I’m also an adoptive parent so we had much to connect with about that profound life experience too. It was wonderful to follow her success post-Emma and I was thrilled that she became a head of school—what a lucky school to have such an amazing woman at the helm. My deepest condolences to her family but I hope it comforts them to know how many lives she has touched in so many places.
Bruce McEldowney says
Thank you, Susan.
Our time at Emma Willard was wonderful. Sasha and I still watch “Scent of a Woman” every time it comes on cable just to see the few scenes filmed there.
Rachel learned so much on how to run a private school from Trudy and the Board of Trustees.
Lisa says
“The poets are right; love is eternal.” -E.M.Forster
Sending our deepest condolences.
Rachel was a mentor, friend and kindred spirit.
In deepest sympathy,
Lisa Woody and Family
Bruce McEldowney says
Lisa,
What a wonderful tribute. PEA was so important to Rachel–particularly all the close friends she made there.
Bruce
Julie Clancy says
What an enormous life Rachel led. I count myself one of the lucky ones to have worked with her for many years and then benefitted from her friendship and brainstorming power. I will miss Rachel’s strength, brightness, capability, kindness, and humor. Oh, that humor. Thankfully, her spirit lives on through the impact of her life. I offer my condolences to Rachel’s family and friends the world over.
Cindy Powell says
My very deepest sympathies and kind caring wishes are flowing to Rachel’s son Sasha, her family and to all those whose lives she touched so deeply. I take comfort knowing how many of us basked in her warmth and light. May we all continue to spread such love and warmth in our daily lives as a tribute to Rachel today and in the future. What a beacon of integrity she was and still is.
Whitney Brice says
I am still grateful for her teaching and mentorship as fundraising counsel while she was at Marts & Lundy. The world has lost a force multiplier in Rachel. My thoughts and prayers go to her son, family and friends at this difficult time.
Whitney Brice
SLU ’87
Bruce McEldowney says
Whitney,
Marts & Lundy for Rachel was a truly mutually beneficial relationship as she had such a variety of experience to help her clients and co-workers while Marts & Lundy led her to be the head of a private school.
BTW–Sasha is a fellow SLU graduate.
William Tell Fritzler says
Rachel was my Rector during my time at Chatham Hall. She was truly a delightful person and great leader. Our team was so happy the day she started, we yelled from an Advancement Office window as she was walking up to her office to give her a big welcome. Rachel was beloved and will be sorely missed. My condolences to you all. The world is a lesser place without her.
Bruce McEldowney says
William,
What a wonderful memory for you to share. So sad that Rachel’s time at Chatham was cut short. But the memory of her will live on.
Phoenix Chen says
Rector Connell was my Rector at Chatham Hall. During my Junior and Senior year. I witnessed how passionate she was towards trying everything possible to make Chatham Hall better. She always put a smile on her face to brighten our days and saying hi to us in hallway. When I was applying for college, I made an appointment with her to discuss her choice and that was when she changed my life. She told me everything she loved about Wellesley and made me become so determined to apply. With Rector Connell’s help, I came to Wellesley and I absolutely love here. I cannot express how grateful to have her in my life and I believe her Wellesley classmates and Chatham Hall students would say the same. It is so heartbroken to lose her. I send my condolence to you all.
Bruce McEldowney says
Dear Phoenix,
So wonderful to hear this. Rachel loved her alma mater and I am sure that she is spiritually strolling around Lake Waban. Listen carefully and you may even her Rachel’s lovely, raspy voice belting out the best version of “Moondance” I have ever heard.
Bruce McEldowney says
Hi Phoenix,
There is going to be a Celebration of Life for Rachel on Mother’s Day 5/14 from 3-5 pm at the Venue at Portwalk Place, 22 Portwalk Place , Portsmouth, NH. Hope you can make it. If you need transportation from Wellesley to Portsmouth please let me know at 603-817-2735 as I am sure there is an alum that can make that happen.
Bruce McEldowney
Jen Gilbert says
I first met Rachel in the mid-1980s in high school and while we’d lost touch over the years, I asked her for her help a few years ago for a girls-school related initiative.
She jumped in with both feet. She charmed my colleagues and taught us all about the nuances of single-sex education in a way that was funny, illuminating, and so very smart.
I’m sorry for all the years I missed. I’m so very sad that’s she is gone. Sending my love to Sasha and Liz and the rest of her family.
Sarah Brandel says
Marion,
I am so sorry to learn that you lost your daughter, Rachel. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sally Brandel
Marion Fitch Connell says
Thank you, Sally.
Frank Titus says
Rachel, you are loved and missed. RIP.
Beth Marcus says
I had the privilege of watching Rachel grow up. She was a wonderful caring child who became an amazing, loving woman. My heart goes out to Marion, Elizabeth and all others in the family as well as the many, many people whose lives are better for having known Rachel. My sincerest sympathy to all of you.
Marion Fitch Connell says
Thank you, Beth.
Eileen McEachern says
Words cannot convey our deep condolences over the loss of your daughter. She was such an extraordinary woman. John and I are so very sorry.
Eileen McEachern
Cynthia G Chrystal says
I did not know Rachel. From all the comments, she was a daughter to be very proud of. I am sorry for your loss, Larry,Linda and family
Edward Labenski says
I am a childhood friend, and my heart aches to know she has passed. The world feels smaller to me.
I am drawn to the words of George Matteson (b. 1842): “I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not vain, that morn shall tearless be.”
I wish her family and friends and community peace and love in this difficult time.
Edward Labenski
Marion Fitch Connell says
Thank you, Edward. You were an important part of her happy memories of Glastonbury.
jane hulbert says
On behalf of my communications firm, Jim and I would like to extend our deepest sympathy to the Chatham Hall School community, and to Rachel’s family and friends. We have worked with the School for many, many years and I distinctly remember when Rachel arrived. She was engaging, smart and a pleasure to work with. And, she was thrilled to be joining Chatham Hall as Rector.
We are deeply saddened to receive this news and we will hold the the entire community in the light.
Sincerely,
Jim and Jane Hulbert
The Jane Group
Bruce McEldowney says
Jim and Jane,
Thanks for your kind thoughts. Although Rachel’s time at Chatham Hall was brief, she was so happy to have connected so strongly with the students and the community.
Appreciatively,
Rachel’s Family
Beth Stefanik says
My condolences to all of Rachel’s family. She was a wonderful woman, and will be greatly missed.
Beth S.
Annie de Cossy Forsyth says
We knew each other at PEA, where she always had a kind word and a smile that filled the room with joy and laughter. Our world has lost one of its best. I can’t imagine how devastated her family must be and those who were close to her throughout the years. My prayers and healing thoughts are with you all.
Peace-
Annie de Cossy Forsyth
Bruce McEldowney says
Hi Annie,
Thank you for your kind thoughts. My memories of you with Rachel are that of you both laughing and enjoying life. Keep it up. It is the greatest tribute we pay our beautiful Rachel.
Bruce
Elizabeth DeBray says
Dear Elizabeth and Marian,
I am saddened to hear of Rachel’s death. I spent so much time with her as a Russian Studies major, and later as a close friend in D.C. Marian, I was a guest at your home many times. Her vivacity and “fierce love” described here are a perfect remembrance — they made everything happening in the world and in our lives so much more memorable and amazing. Since I live in Georgia, I am not sure if I can make it to the memorial in New Hampshire, but I will try. She loved you all dearly, and I am so sorry she is gone.
Love, Liz DeBray
Sue Ann MacBride says
I was classmate and friend to Rachel at Wellesley. My memory of her is one of pep, verve, a huge smile, sharp quips (even at weekend brunch after a late night out), humour, and of course her singing. Rachel was 100% authentic all the time, and sometimes she seemed larger than life. I can’t imagine the world being without her. I think I have some photos of us from the early 90s, and will attempt to find and send them by May 14th.
Love and admiration forever.
Bill and Jane Briggs says
Our deepest condolences to all of Rachel’s family and friends. I was fortunate enough to have coached and taught Rachel while she was in middle school. Whether in the gym or outside for track practice Rachel always entered with a huge smile and a cheerful greeting. Rachel consistently worked hard and was dedicated to her work but always took the time to help teammates in need of help or encouragement. The hard work and dedication resulted in well deserved victories and medals but she always remained humble.
It is not a surprise that Rachel would continue to be a success throughout her endeavors and have such a positive influence on so many people.
Bill Briggs
Aisha Sakhariyeva says
I lived with Rachel in the same dorm room in Moscow. She amazed me then, a shy 16-year-old girl from Kazakhstan, with her loud laughter, openness, kindness. Thanks to her, I learned a lot of new musical artists. I still have a few of her tape cassettes at home, as well as postcards that she signed in Russian with her own humor and self-irony. I am shocked by the news of her death. I express my deepest condolences to Rachel’s family. She will always remain in my memory.